


And We'll Be Together

by PunsBulletsAndPointyThings



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: But Something Close, GFY, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, birthday present fic, not quite time travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 04:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7743220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunsBulletsAndPointyThings/pseuds/PunsBulletsAndPointyThings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kix never wanted to be a part of the Resistance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And We'll Be Together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_dragongirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_dragongirl/gifts).



> Happy birthday DG! <3
> 
>  
> 
> Title comes from the song, Somewhere Out There by Kenny Loggins

Kix had not wanted to join the Resistance. It was not his war, not his time, and quite frankly, he was tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of losing people. Not, of course, that he really had anyone to lose, not anymore, but he still had been perfectly content in his anonymity.

He had said so too, the first time General Leia Organa had approached him (and in person no less; really, Kix was flattered). But the woman was a Skywalker, and their veins ran with stubbornness more often than with actual blood. Oh, she had denied it, when Kix had commented, but the clone had served under Jedi General Anakin Skywalker for the majority of his (short) life. And for all that she looked like her mother, Leia Organa’s eyes burned with the same fire as Skywalker’s had, and Kix could see his General’s shadow in the way the petite woman stood, arms crossed, feet planted firmly in the dirt. She was formidable, but Kix was no stranger to Skywalker stubbornness, and knew how to stand his ground. Eventually, she had sighed, nodding her head in regal acceptance that was not really acceptance, not if you looked closely.

“I understand your reluctance, Lieutenant. The Resistance could use your knowledge, and your skills, but I will not force you to join us.”

Kix, grown bitter in his losses, had snorted. “Thank you, General. Nice to finally have the chance to choose.”

Her eyes had widened fractionally at that, and Kix supposed he ought to have felt bad. But he didn’t. He just felt tired.

After another moment of silence, Organa had spoken again. “If you should change your mind, or have need of our aid, you can contact me with this.” She had held out a tiny commlink, which Kix accepted with a curt nod. “Thank you, General.”

The commlink had gone into a pocket of the heavy jacket Kix had found for himself, not as good as armor, but the weight was comfortingly similar, and there it had stayed, not quite forgotten, not quite ignored, like an old scar that refused to stop aching completely.

Kix had not wanted to join the Resistance, but when the commlink had gone off, almost two years after he had been given it, and Skywalker’s daughter’s words had reached his ears, well;  
  
_“One of our people, a former Stormtrooper, has been badly hurt. We’re doing what we can, but not a lot of our medics have solid experience with lightsaber and Force-born injuries. We could use your expertise.”_

Stormtroopers were not brothers. Kix knew that, for a time, they had been. The crew of the Meson Martinet had taken the time to help Kix learn about the time he had…missed, and he knew what had become of his brothers, knew about Order 66. They had helped him remove his own control chip after that particular lesson. He knew how the clones had been slowly and systematically weeded out of the army, replaced by natural born soldiers.

Stormtroopers were not brothers.

But they could have been.

And this one, this being, ripped from his home as a child, had been given just as little choice for his fate as Kix and his brothers had received, and yet he had still managed to get away, to take back control and fight back.

And Kix was, despite it all, a medic to his core. He had taken a vow to help his brothers, hadn’t he?

‘Just once more.’

* * *

 

Kix froze mid-stride as the sound of laughter floated to his ears, painful in it’s familiarity and utterly, completely impossible, here in the Resistance base on D’Qar. He had been on his way to the training rooms, meaning to spend a couple hours beating his body into submission, and maybe teaching a few of the shinies― new recruits, how to properly disarm and disable an armored opponent, but at that sound, every part of him had come to a screeching halt.

He knew that voice. It was the same voice he heard pass through his own lips every time he spoke, and yet immeasurably different. It was a voice that he knew as well as his own heartbeat, and one Kix had long accepted he would never hear from another being again.

It was the voice of a brother. Of a brother _laughing_ , faint but unmistakable as it rang in Kix’s ears.

Kix couldn’t move. He knew he was getting odd looks from people who had to go around him, concern and annoyance as he took up space in the middle of a bustling hallway, but the medic was too busy trying to remember how to breathe properly to care.

A brother laughing. He knew that brother.  
.  
Somehow, slowly, Kix found his feet again, turning to follow the sound. It didn’t take him long to reach the source, the laughter seeping from a half closed door only a few feet from where Kix had been standing.

Peering in, heart in his throat, Kix saw a familiar figure sitting at holo terminal, back slightly hunched as he watched the flickering, translucent figures of two brothers, one with an arm tossed over the other’s shoulder, helmets tucked under their arms and faces cheerful. A step closer, and Kix was able to see the familiar, identifying marks of a handprint and a five tattoo.

Echo and Fives. Happy, together, Echo leaning heavily against Fives as he laughed at something Kix could not see, Fives’ face a brilliant picture of humor and smug self-satisfaction that meant he had been causing trouble. Once again, Kix found all the breath had been sucked out of his lungs, leaving him dry-mouth and struggling for oxygen.

The camera shifted, and there was Rex. He too had his helmet off, and he was rolling his eyes in exasperation, but there, there were the tiny creases at the corners of his eyes, the barest hint of a curve at the corners of his lips that meant he was trying to not laugh himself. The camera shifted again, revealing General Skywalker, every inch of him dripping with a strange sludge and looking seriously pissed off, and oh, Kix remembered that day, knew that if the frame was just a little wider he would see a smug looking General Kenobi, perfectly pristine and dry next to the pond of noxious smelling green sludge he had, moments earlier, shoved Skywalker into, much to the amusement of the 501st. Echo had nearly passed out, he had been laughing so hard. They had just finished a long and trying campaign, one that had pushed every member of the 501st and 212th so close to their limits that the stage of exhausted hysteria had been an improvement from previous days.

Kix must have made a noise of some sort, because Finn suddenly looked up and away from the holo, fixing Kix with a concern-heavy gaze.

“Kix? Are you alright?” the former Stormtrooper asked, rising from his seat and moving towards the door, closing the space between them as he lay a hand on Kix’s shoulder.

Kix swallowed hard, his eyes never leaving the blue figures of his brothers. He had a hand clamped over his mouth, he realized absently, and made no move to remove it.

“I…” he stopped, swallowed, and tried again. “I’m fine. I just…give me a moment.”

Finn nodded and squeezed his shoulder gently.

“Did you know them?” he asked, softly.

Kix nodded. “They are…they were 501st. My legion. We served under General Skywalker, the one covered in slime there. I…” Lowering his hand, he licked his lips, eyes flicking from face to familiar face, “I didn’t realize any of these still existed.”

“General Organa gave me these. Her father managed to save a few, apparently, though I’m not sure how. Most recordings that couldn’t be used as Imperial propaganda were destroyed,” Finn explained. “And as far as I can tell, most of the original Rebellion didn’t think, or care, to save to stuff like this.”

“Why would they?” Kix murmured, “We were the enemy.” For a moment, he was struck a wave of bitter self-loathing. He should have been there. He could have helped, could have saved them, could have—!

“Would you tell me about them?” Finn’s voice was soft and when Kix looked up, the younger man was watching Cody clap Rex on the shoulder, smirking as the Captain gave him a squinty glare, probably blushing. “Your brothers?”

Kix swallowed hard, working to force down the lump in his throat. He had just opened to his mouth to respond, when the camera moved again, and was turned on it’s handler.

Jesse’s face was bright and joyful, even despite the splash of what looked suspiciously like blood across his face, his eyes dancing with laughter.

_“Kix, come on!”_

A sob rose, unbidden in Kix’s throat, and he sank his teeth into his lip to keep it from breaking free.

In the holo, Kix saw himself appear, and watched as Jesse handed the camera off to someone (Commander Tano, if Kix remembered correctly), freeing his hands to pull Kix close.

Kix turned away. Took a moment to remember how to breathe. He couldn’t watch this.

“Kix?” Finn asked again. For a moment, he was met with only silence, as Kix struggled to pull himself together.

Jesse’s loss had grown to a constant ache in Kix’s chest over the almost two years since he had woken up, but seeing his face, hearing his voice, the way he said Kix’s name, it all left Kix with the overwhelming desire to scream at the unfairness of it all, the pain in his chest flaring to vicious life. Blinking rapidly, Kix dug his fingers into the side of his thigh, turning his attention away from Finn and on to simply breathing and not breaking down. Finn’s hand was still on his shoulder, a point of heat that Kix used as an anchor, a guiding light through the clouds of pain and loss.

Eventually, Kix straightened, and let out a shaky exhale.

“I’m alright,” he said, at Finn’s concerned expression. “I just… That’s Jesse.” He nodded at the holo, where Commander Tano had continued to film the two of them. Her laughter could be heard from off camera, as past Kix scrubbed at Jesse’s face with his fingers, grousing as his partner’s laughter and movement caused him to end up with fingers in unfortunate places.

For a moment, the two men, former troopers both, watched the hollo in silence, before Kix finally elaborate. “He...I loved him. Still love him.” It was a hushed admission, and Kix did not look away from the moving memories playing out in front of him, but he still saw Finn nod out of his periphery.

Keeping his movements tight and controlled, Kix sat down in the chair next to the one Finn had abandoned. Following his lead, Finn sat as well, quiet as Kix kept speaking.

“We got to the front lines at the same time…”

* * *

  
Somehow, it became a regular thing. Kix would meet Finn in his rooms, or Kix’s, or sometimes one of the small common rooms scattered around the base, and Kix would tell him stories. Stories about the war, about his brothers. About missions gone well, and missions gone spectacularly badly.

Rey and Poe would join them sometimes, and Kix would talk about General Koon and Wolffe and General Skywalker, and the other pilots.

One night, halfway through Kix’s retelling of the mess with the Blue Shadow virus on Naboo, Rey glanced up, and interrupted Kix with a soft, “Master Luke!”

Looking up, Kix saw a man standing half in the doorway. His hair was grey and white, and he had a short beard. He was dressing in tan tunics that were unmistakably Jedi, and his eyes were shadowed.

Kix had heard the stories. Luke Skywalker, savior of the Rebellion. Luke Skywalker, who destroyed the first Death Star and killed the Emperor. Somehow, this had not been quite what he was expecting.

He rose to his feet before Luke could speak, crossing over to stand in front of the man, and inspected him for a long moment. He could feel Luke doing the same.

He looked like the General, Kix finally decided, but there was something in his bearing, in the way he held himself, that reminded him of Kenobi, and practically screamed Amidala.

Kix smiled.

“It’s an honour to finally meet you, Sir. Lieutenant Kix, CMO of the original 501st of the Grand Army of the Republic. I served under your father. He was a good man.”

Luke blinked, and finally, after a long moment, smiled back, just slightly.

“Leia mentioned you. I’m sorry to interrupt, I was looking for Rey.”

His voice was soft, and a little rough, like he wasn’t used to speaking out loud.

Kix should his head. “It’s no trouble. You are welcome to join us, if you have no other pressing matters to attend to.”

Luke seemed to hesitate, glancing between Kix, and Rey, and then to Finn and Poe. Finally, he nodded. “I would like that. Thank you.”

Some nights, Kix’s audience consisted solely of the Skywalker twins. On those nights, the medic would tell them about his general, and what he could about their mother. In return, they told him about the time he had lost, filling him on events that the Corsar’s crew could not.

Leia told him about the destruction of Alderaan, of the Emperor’s Death Star and how Tarkan had, among other things, been trying to get information out of her, by threatening her entire planet. Even now, so many years later, a vicious light shone in the general’s eyes, a fierce, driving grief and rage that had never fully cooled, and Kix could not help but think of just how proud General Skywalker would have been of his daughter.

Luke was the one who finally told him what had happened to General Kenobi. That he had survived Sixty-Six was not as surprising as it ought to have been, nor was the revelation that he hid in a desert to watch out for Skywalker’s kid. The news of his death though...it hurt, and Kix wondered if Cody or Rex had known. If they had been in control of their own minds enough to care. He quickly shut down that line of thought, as well as the one focusing on the fact that Skywalker killed Kenobi, because that did not work. Did not work with what Kix knows about the galaxy and how things simply Are.

The stories...they helped. More than Kix would have expected. Both the telling and receiving helped to fight off the ever present sense of being adrift that had become Kix’s constant companion. Eventually, he found a new rhythm, one that did not revolve around Finn’s recovery. Sleep was still not easy, but it was getting better, and getting out of bed in the morning was not the same struggle it had once been. Slowly, Kix found himself adjusting.

* * *

 

“Hey Kix! Heads up, we’ve got an incoming.”

Kix glanced up from the monitor he had been hunched over, as Fentil’s voice cut through his focus. Straightening, he wiped hands against his shirt and frowned at the Codru-Ji. “ETA?”

“An hour, last I heard.”

“What are we looking at?”

“Extended cryo freezing, almost certainly cryo-sickness.”

Kix’s heart stuttered in his chest, missing a beat as the other medic continued, “That recon team we sent to Vega moon V found a downed ship. It’s an old one too, the schematics they sent back look around the same age as you.”

Fentil glanced up from the datapad he was holding, and frowned. “Kix? Are you alright? You look a little green, and human’s generally shouldn’t be that colour.”

Kix licked his lips, an old nervous habit, and tried to slow his breathing until his hands stopped shaking. Now was not the time to be getting his hopes up. That the ship was old, that didn’t mean anything, and even if it did, the chances of the person in the pod being someone he knew—

“I’m fine,” the medic lied, ignoring the way Fentil’s eyes narrowed at his words. “Come on. Cryo sickness is a bitch and a half to deal with, we need to get prepped.” He rolled up his sleeves as he spoke, allowing the familiar, focused calm of having a job to do, someone to help, to fall over him.

‘Back to work, boys.’

They were waiting in the main hanger when the transport finally arrived, Kix and the other medical staff ready to receive their newest patient. Kix was calm, hands steady behind his back. This was his job, what he was born and trained to do.

The transport landed with a chorus of hissing from the landing gear and the sound of the engine shutting down, and the medic team moved forwards as a single unit, ready to take over the care of the man from the cryo pod. The door slid open and two figures appeared, other’s close at their heels. One of the first two was leaning heavily against the other, no doubt the man in question. The recon team had got him out and dealt with the initial cryo sickness symptoms, but Kix wanted to get the man into the ward and under scanners as soon as possi-

Jesse.

Kix stumbled mid-stride, and would have fallen fully if Mari had not noticed and caught his shoulder.

“Kix? Are you alright?”

Kix shook his head, eyes not moving from the figures appearing from inside the transport, the woman’s words floating unheeded through his mind like fog in the wind.

Jesse. Jesse was leaning against the woman in Resistance uniform, letting her support the majority of his weight. Jesse, looking to pale, fragile and disoriented, but alive, alive, alive and unmistakable himself.

Kix couldn’t breathe. His pulse roared in his ears, as his lips moved on their own accord.

“Jesse!”

It came out as more of a broken whisper than anything else, too soft to be heard properly amidst the noise of the hanger, cracked and shaking, but Jesse’s head snapped anyway, eyes searching wildly around before the other clone’s gaze landed on Kix.

For a moment, the galaxy went still. Jesse’s eyes were wide, filled with confusion, shock, and disbelief unlike anything Kix had ever seen, and then he was moving, shoving away from the woman supporting him and lurching forwards, movements rough and desperate. He had barely moved half a pace before his knees were buckling and Kix was running.

He closed the space between them in what felt like seconds, catching Jesse in his arms before he fell, and they crashed to the ground together, wrapped in and around one another.

“Kix. _Kix_!” Jesse gasped, sliding his hands into Kix’s hair, holding him close and tight, as if Kix would try to move away. He sounded terrified and so lost, just as desperate as Kix felt for this to be real.

“Jesse!” Kix was sobbing, and he didn’t care, just held on tighter to the fabric of Jesse’s blacks and pressed his face into his shoulder. “Jesse, oh gods, Jesse.”

“Where did you go?! You disappeared, where did you go?! We thought you were dead! Or...or worse!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Kix pulled back just enough to meet Jesse’s eyes cupping his face with trembling hands. “One of Dooku’s cronies grabbed me, back in 79’s. I got stuck in a cryo-tube, like you did.” He should asked how that happened, find out what Jesse remembered, but at that moment, he didn’t give a wamprat’s ass about anything other than that Jesse was here, in his arms, safe and warm and alive.

Kissing him felt like coming home. He smelled like chemicals and grease and tasted like bacta and it was the most comforting thing Kix had ever experienced. In that moment, wrapped in Jesse’s arms, holding him close, Kix finally felt his world shift and all the shattered pieces fall into better slots. He wasn’t alone. He was alone anymore, never again, Jesse was here. He was home.

When they broke apart for air, Jesse clutched at Kix’s shoulders. “They said it’s―”

“I know. I know.”

“But, the others!”

“I know. I have so much to tell you, Jesse. Believe me, this is real.”

Jesse’s shoulders were shaking and he ducked his head, pressing his face against Kix’s shoulder. “I don’t understand!”

“I know,” Kix murmured, pressing kisses to the top of his boyfriend’s head. “I know, I know, I really do. It’s okay, Jesse, it’s okay. I’m here, you’re safe.”

“You’re really here.”

“And so are you.”

“I’ve missed you so much.”

Kix blinked back fresh tears, his voice breaking when he spoke. “I’ve thought about you every day. I-I...I never thought I would see you again, _ner cyar’ika_.”

Jesse looked up, meeting Kix’s eyes and resting their foreheads together.

“Please, please, never vanish like that again,” he murmured. “Please, I don’t think I could take it.”

“I won’t,” Kix promised. “Nothing is going to make me leave you, not again. Never again.”

Not even the Force itself.

**Author's Note:**

> Mando'A:
> 
> ner cyar'ika - my beloved


End file.
